My review's are all based on the Anime Naruto
I choose to read your fanfic because of the title, and the amount of words. I immediately thought of Hinata when I read the title, I wasn’t surprised that this story involved her because I too have always wanted Hinata and Naruto to fall in love, it seems like the writer toys with us in keeping them apart but I do hope that they can be together, reading your fanfic was interesting.I also did visualise the video clip.
The only constructive criticism I have for you is that I wish that you blended in the song by Taylor Swift “You belong with me” better into the story, “BELIEVE IT”
This was such an interesting story, from the description which was put up to reading the story was so different and funny, I haven’t read many fanfic's which talk about going to the toilet, it was interesting.
Constructive criticism would have to be that I wish your story was a bit longer with a cleaner ending pardon the pun, it just ended abruptly I felt like there should have been more. “BELIEVE IT”
I really did enjoy your story and how all the main guys of the story talked about how they missed and loved Sakura and if only they had one more chance to tell her how they feel. I do like the ending how to talk about a girl who has the same features as Sakura but didn’t state if it was her, the cliff hanging ending is great.
The only constructive criticism I have is that, since this was talking about all the boys who love Sakura, you didn’t mention Rock Lee at all. I’m not sure if you know that out of all the boys he was the only one who showed signs of affection towards Sakura, and said that he loves Sakura. If only you added Rock Lee that would have made the story perfect. Keep up the writing. “BELIEVE IT”
I did like the story, the first paragraph was great that got me hooked on the story to read on, I can see the general idea of where you were going with it, I think if you keep writing you will get better.
I have some constructive critics for you; it would be good for you before you post your fanfic to check your grammar, and spelling of your words too. I almost stopped reading your fanfic because there were so many mistakes with your writing, like I said if you keep writing it will get better. “BELIEVE IT”
Your fanfic was an interesting story, far from the actual story line of Naruto, like opposite on some occasions; I guess it was a different point of view.
A constructive critic would be, I wish you would have stuck to the story line and used Kurama as the Bijuu instead of saying that the Bijuu was a female named Naomi. Because it didn’t make sense that the people were beating him up because Naomi was nice, Naruto’s Bijuu is known for being the most cynical out of the entire tailed beats hence why the people were chasing him. You also need to check on your grammar it put me off while reading. Keep writing because you will only get better. “BELIEVE IT"
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